Not in Control

For a long time it has been my belief that the root of all sin is pride.  It is in our human nature to want to be the biggest, feel the best about ourselves.  Pride is fed and developed as curriculum in many school systems.  "Self-esteem" as many would call it is feeling good about oneself.  This is taught on a weekly basis in many schools.  Pride envelops every aspect of human nature.  As believers we know that we are "to put off your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires, and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness. (Ephesians 4:22-24 ESV).  Yet this is still a daily battle.  Sadly a battle I am learning that is being fought within me is rooted in pride.  It is the battle to be in control of my life and circumstances.  In communicating with a brother in Christ I realize I am not the only one fighting this.  To be in control.  Why?

Here is the definition of control as referenced by dictionary.com

Controlling

verb (used with object)

1.to exercise restraint or direction over; dominate; command.

2.to hold in check; curb: to control a horse; to control one'semotions.

3.to test or verify (a scientific experiment) by a parallelexperiment or other standard of comparison.

4.to eliminate or prevent the flourishing or spread of: to control a forest fire.

5.Obsolete. to check or regulate (transactions), originally bymeans of a duplicate register.

noun

6.the act or power of controlling; regulation; domination orcommand: Who's in control here?

7.the situation of being under the regulation, domination, orcommand of another: The car is out of control.

8.check or restraint: Her anger is under control.

9.a legal or official means of regulation or restraint: to institute wage and price controls.

I believe that we who have this battle in our lives ask the profound question given in the sixth definition.  It is a noun.  WHO IS IN CONTROL HERE?  The answer is simple and easy to give.  God.  God, the one who gave his only son, Christ, to be a sacrifice for our sin is in control.  He has been since before the beginning of time.  I wrote a blog on the complete span of control He is in within our universe.  Yet I still ask this silly question over and over again.  And come to the same answer and yet still fight it.  I fight for control in hundreds of ways.  I fight for control over my sin, my job, my life circumstances, I could go on forever.  It seems this battle against my human nature has such an enormous impact on my life that I don't even realize I am fighting for it until I communicate with a friend who is learning the same thing.  I am like the character I used to love in a children's book I used to read.  Little Critter (he was one of my favorites) had this same issue (maybe not so spiritual).  In one of his books he proclaimed in every situation that he "can do it himself!"  Yet he never seemed to make it through.  I can conquer hard issues in my life myself.  I can control my friendships myself.  I can deal with awful hurt myself.  I can beat sin myself.  All of these are just a fight for control.  

My friend Chris (the one who is learning all this as well)  Reminded me of David and how often he relinquished control (or his perception of being in control) to God.  Because of this I decided for my Bible reading that I would read through the Psalms.  Although they are not in chronological order I do not find it to be coincidence that David shows his reliance on God within the first three chapters.  In Psalm 3 David is being chased by his OWN SON Absalom and this is what he says

I lay down and slept;

I woke again, for the LORD sustained me.

I will not be afraid of many thousands of people

who have set themselves against me all around.

(Psalm 3:5-6 ESV)

If only I could learn to trust God so much that I can sleep even when 1000's of enemies surround me.

Again in chapter 4 David proclaims his trust in God

In peace I will both lie down and sleep;

for you alone, O LORD, make me dwell in safety.

(Psalm 4:8 ESV)

My prayer is that in the next few weeks I will be giving up ares of my life in which I am still trying to be in control.  This is the beginning and I pray those who read it will be blessed and will give up control in their lives as well.

Love In Christ, 

Nathaniel